Parents of trans kids have a right to know - The Dallas Morning News

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Schools across the country, including here in North Texas, are wrong to hide students’ gender identities from parents.

A New York Times investigation published Sunday found dozens of cases in which schools facilitated social transitioning for transgender students without telling the parents or legal guardians. Social transition involves the use of names, pronouns and dress that align with a person’s gender identity.

Since 2020, parents have filed at least 11 lawsuits against school districts for this, from California to Wisconsin, The Times reported. The lawsuits allege that withholding this information is a violation of parental rights.

At least one North Texas grandparent agrees. “If I was a woman with deep pockets, I would be suing the school district,” Judy Caracheo told us. Caracheo is the grandmother of a student she is raising who was enrolled at Creekview High School in Carrollton-Farmers Branch ISD last year.

Caracheo said the school changed her grandchild’s name and pronouns, both informally and in the school database, but changed them back after Caracheo learned about it and complained that she hadn’t been notified.

We spoke with one of the teen’s teachers, who confirmed using the teen’s preferred name and pronouns. The teacher declined to discuss parental notification. We are not naming the teacher out of concern that it could lead to backlash. Requests for information from Creekview’s principal and school counselor went unanswered Wednesday. A spokesperson from Carrollton-Farmers Branch ISD wrote in an email, “The district does not have a policy concerning the subject matter you have identified. Please know that the district adheres to state law requirements concerning the use of a student’s legal surname.”

Caracheo’s grandchild was 16 when this happened. The teen now attends a private school in Plano, Caracheo said. The cases highlighted in the Times investigation involved students as young as 11.

In some cases, teachers have been penalized for informing parents about their child’s gender identity. One teacher in Massachusetts was fired for doing so, the Times reported.

Guidance for school districts is murky. Advice from the Texas Association of School Boards, updated this month, says: “The law does not provide a clear path for educators in this difficult situation,” but encourages schools to work with parents. It also notes that under federal law about educational rights, “parents have a right of access to their minor students’ education records.”

In 2016, the National School Boards Association issued guidance that affirmed a parent’s right to know their child’s gender status, but also included these caveats: " As school officials, you walk that delicate line balancing the privacy interests of the student versus his or her parents and your legal duties...Given the unsettled state of the law, you may choose to direct school staff who are unsure whether the parents are aware of the student’s transgender status to refrain from incautious disclosure of a student’s transgender status.”

Activist groups have more explicit suggestions. The Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network offers a model policy that instructs: “Staff or educators shall not disclose any information that may reveal a student’s gender identity to others, including parents or guardians and other staff, unless the student has authorized such disclosure.”

One of the core tenets of some of these activist groups is that children know themselves better than anyone. The American Civil Liberties Union has published promotional material that proclaims, “Trans youth know what is best for them.” The way they see it, a parent’s job is to accept a child’s self-diagnosis and support whatever treatment the child suggests.

But many parents would disagree, pointing out that adolescents don’t always know what’s best for them when it comes to diet, bedtime, screen time or friend groups, let alone something as complex and life-changing as gender transition.

The Creekview teacher pointed out that it’s just common courtesy to call someone by the name they use for themselves. No doubt. But teachers, school counselors and coaches are smart enough to know the difference between a nickname and a child who is transitioning. If in doubt, erring on the side of telling parents is the right choice.

Proponents of policies that would exclude parents from a child’s transition, including Todd Gazda, the superintendent at the Massachusetts district that fired a teacher for communicating with parents, say they are protecting kids.

“For many of our students, school is their only safe place,” Gazda said during a school board meeting, “and that safety evaporates when they leave the confines of our buildings.”

Sadly, there are cases in which students may face the threat of abuse at home for disclosing their gender identity. If there is a fear a child could come to harm over information provided to a parent, the school should involve child welfare authorities.

That should not stand as a reason to avoid parental disclosure as a matter of policy or practice. It is not abuse for parents to decide to call a child by the name they gave her, or use pronouns that align with her biological sex.

Even the murky National School Boards Association guidance acknowledges that, instructing school leaders to “Keep in mind that parental disagreement or lack of support regarding a student’s gender expression alone does not equal reportable behavior.”

This board has been critical of conservative culture war attempts to brand gender-affirming care as “child abuse,” and we have encouraged all involved to follow the developing science behind gender-affirming care. It is wrong for the attorney general to investigate parents who are providing gender-affirming care to their children under a doctor’s direction.

But it is chilling to think that a school would lock a parent out of crucial knowledge about his or her own child. The issue of parental communication is just common sense: Parents have the right to know everything the school knows about their child, from grades to health.

We asked Dallas ISD Superintendent Stephanie Elizalde about this Tuesday. She explained the district’s practice this way: “We must get parental consent for all students under 18. We’re always going to overcommunicate with parents on these issues. We want to avoid any sense that we’re trying to hide something from parents.”

That’s the right answer, and school officials across the country would be wise to take note. Sadly, on this important question, school districts around the U.S. aren’t learning.

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